SPOILER ALERT DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED THE FILM YET. IT IS A GREAT FILM, DO WATCH IT! š
I watched Endings, Beginnings — a film starring Shailene Woodley, Sebastian Stan, and Jamie Dornan directed by Drake Doremus. This story is about a woman who meets two awesome bachelors in a party after she broke up with her 4-year-boyfriend. She wasn’t supposed to be back in the game immediately since everything is still fresh to her but she finds the two contrasting men worthy of exploring.
Daph (Shailene) has personal issues of her own. Being alone is not something she’s familiar with. She believes that she always end up making bad decision or taking a risky step that later on causes chaos in her life when she’s alone. That’s also why when he met these two men (Jamie and Sebastian), even she promised herself that she won’t be back to dating that fast, she still did.
If you study her personality intently, you’d understand that this is part of her coping mechanism. She always feel the need to continue on moving with life — hopping from one situation to another without pausing, thinking carefully what to do. It was mentioned early in the film that she broke up with her boyfriend, experienced a sexual assault from her boss that she tried to repress because she partly sees herself accountable for letting it happen, she moved out of their (boyfriend) place and moved in with her sister’s pool house, resigned from her job because of the said assault and went right back to job hunting, all this in a span of seven days. She always seemed to play it cool and say that she’s alright but deep inside she’s actually not.
She never let anyone inside of her heart; to deeply understand who she really is and what she’s going through. Later on, Jack (Jamie) and Daph moved in together while Daph continues to meet with Frank (Sebastian) secretly. While Frank knew the vulnerable, “suffering” part of her, she doesn’t seem to know her in a much deeper level, as well as Jack. Daph have a very comfortable feeling around these two but she still leave details of her out from them. She was having sexual intercourse with the two of them. And so, [this is where it all really got complicated], when she got pregnant she doesn’t know who the child’s father is.
I believe that during the process of her moving on from her relationship, if she just have maintained a casual friendship with these two men and took the time to really focus on her personal growth, she might’ve prevented it all from happening. But there was this desire for a companion to stabilize her emotionally which drove her to commit to yet another relationship, not to one but two men.
**** enough story reveal ****
This film really inflicted realizations in me and how I decide things in my life. It reminded me that you don’t always have to constantly hustle your way out of a situation. Sometimes, that leads to more bad decisions that would eventually cause more complexity in your life.
You don’t always have to be okay and you don’t have to rush yourself to be. Sometimes, you just got to give yourself some time alone, breathe, take a step back, analyze the situation. Feel the emotions, let it sink in. That’s what makes us human.
You don’t always have to beat yourself up for making bad decisions. Mistakes doesn’t define who you are. It doesn’t tell how much of a wonderful person you are. Mistakes are part of human existence so you don’t have to blame yourself for commiting one. It just means that you exhausted all the options that you have and it was the appropriate step to take at that time. It may not end well and that’s fine. Every step there’s always another set of choices. You won’t run out of it so you don’t have to rush yourself to be okay.
“You are exactly where you need to be, you are loved.”
living paradox 
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